The Nature-Nurture-Nietzsche Newsletter

The Nature-Nurture-Nietzsche Newsletter

Did Our Ancestors Choose Their Mates?

Responding to a common challenge to evolutionary explanations for mate preferences

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Steve Stewart-Williams
Jun 06, 2026
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This is the latest excerpt from my book A Billion Years of Sex Differences, released on June 4. You can access the full collection here, and pick up a copy of the book here.

In this installment, I tackle a common objection to evolutionary explanations for human mate preferences: the idea that our ancestors didn’t choose their own mates, because marriages were arranged and women were often coerced into relationships. Among other things, we’ll look at:

  • How arranged marriage can coexist with individual mate choice

  • Why mate preferences aren’t relevant only at the start of a relationship

  • How affairs and elopements may have helped shape human evolution

  • Why humans may have stronger mate preferences than other animals

  • How parental interference may help explain the evolution of romantic love

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