Keeping It Casual, Part 1
Sex differences in interest in casual sex
Men and women are similar in many ways - but if there’s one area where we might expect them to differ markedly, it’s sexual behaviour.
In this excerpt from my forthcoming book, A Billion Years of Sex Differences, I kick off a three-part exploration of female-male differences in sexual psychology, focusing in particular on attitudes to casual, no-strings-attached sex.
In the first instalment, I examine the evidence for these sex differences: Are they real, or just old-fashioned stereotypes?
In the second, I look at the origins of the differences: Are they purely a product of culture, or is there also an innate contribution?
And in the third, I consider the evolution of the differences: Why might natural selection have favoured somewhat different sexual inclinations in men than in women?
You can access the full collection of excerpts here, and preorder A Billion Years of Sex Differences here (UK) or here (US).
But First, an Announcement…
I’ll be promoting A Billion Years at the How the Light Gets In festival in Hay-on-Wye this May. If you want to join me for champagne, cake, and a discussion of the evolution of sex differences, click here to book your place!
Keeping It Casual, Part 1
Perhaps you’ve heard the rumours, but men and women aren’t always on the same page when it comes to sex and love. This is nicely illustrated by the story of a young woman who, tired of receiving unsolicited dick pics from every Tom, Richard, and Harry, decided to return fire with her own ‘crotch shot’. To her surprise, the recipients didn’t react the way she had. Rather than being shocked or chastened, they were over the moon.
The behaviour of the woman in this scenario, and that of the men who sent the dick pics to begin with, exemplifies what psychologists call failures of cross-sex mindreading. Why are such mindreading mishaps so common?
After many years of studying and seeking an answer, I’ve hit upon a radical new theory that, in my view, lays this age-old mystery to rest: Men and women are different.
Wait a minute, you might protest; didn’t you just finish arguing that men and women aren’t particularly different? Well, I did. Sex differences in humans are generally modest. However, when it comes to sexual psychology, the gaps are notably larger. In fact, it’s in the realm of sexuality that we find the single largest psychological sex difference ever documented in our species. (See if you can guess what it is; I’ll come back to it later.)
Certainly, most sex differences in sexuality aren’t like night and day. But they are big enough to matter. That’s why the shelves of most bookstores are groaning under the weight of books about navigating sex and relationships. Let’s explore some of the sex differences that turn these tomes into bestsellers.